How to perform a blanket scan of a w-space system

25th November 2012 – 3.13 pm

This post is an update to an earlier and less-detailed guide on how to perform a blanket scan of w-space.

The aim of my kind of blanket scan of a w-space system is not to see what signatures are in the system, so that you can pick likely wormholes from the noise. The aim is not to see what sites and signatures there are, so that you can see if it's worth making ISK from Sleepers. The aim isn't even to see what sites, signatures, and ships there are in the system.

The aim of a blanket scan of a w-space system is to see what sites, signatures, and ships there are in the system covertly. It is important to stress the point that neither you nor your probes should be visible to any potential targets or threats. This is w-space. You don't want to be seen if you can help it.

Because we want to stay hidden, we do not launch a deep space probe to get a first look at all the signatures, as this would involve reloading the probe launcher and having our ship remain visible for longer than necessary. We also do not use core scanning probes, because these will not detect ships or structures. We need an expanded probe launcher loaded with combat scanning probes.

To stay hidden, we need to bear in mind an important point: the directional scanner (d-scan) has a range of a little over 14 AU. We need to keep our ship and probes at least that far from any potential pilots in order to remain unnoticed. For our ship, we keep out of range of d-scan simply enough. We can pick a point in the system that is out of range of any ships before dropping our cloak to launch probes. We can check this easily by updating d-scan before decloaking. To keep our probes hidden, we need to be more careful, which is where this guide comes in.

A larger version of each image is linked behind the standard images in this post.

  1. Find a spot in the system out of d-scan range of other ships and towers.
  2. It is most important to be out of d-scan range of other piloted ships, as we have to assume that they will be pinging d-scan regularly. It is useful to be out of range of towers, even if there are currently no ships present, because many pilots come on-line in their tower, and if our timing is unlucky we'll be spotted at just the wrong moment.

    If we cannot get out of range of both other ships and an empty tower, compromise by launching probes in range of the tower and out of range of active pilots.

    If there are active pilots as well as piloted ships in a tower, it is still best to compromise by launching probes in range of the tower. Active pilots outside of a tower are more likely to be pinging d-scan than those sitting safely inside a force field.

    If the system is too small to let you get out of d-scan range of active pilots, be quick with the process and hope for the best.

  3. Launch probes.
  4. I launch five combat scanning probes. This lets me perform two complete launches before needing to reload, which is good if I have nowhere to hide and need to reactivate my cloak quickly. A standard five-probe pattern is pretty much all I need to resolve sites and ships. If your skills require more probes, or you just prefer more for your scanning, feel free to launch more, but bear in mind that you'll have to reload more often, and that you will probably not be able to use your standard scanning pattern for the blanket scan.

  5. Optional: Reload your probe launcher.
  6. If you are safely out of range of other pilots, feel free to take the ten seconds to reload your launcher to be ready for the next launch. If you do this immediately after launching the fifth probe, you won't be much more visible than not doing so, as moving the probes and scanning takes almost as much time.

    If you are launching probes in range of active or potentially active pilots then it is best to reactivate your cloak as soon as possible. Because of this, I find it best to have your ship moving at full speed in an arbitrary direction whilst launching probes, so that as soon as the last one is launched you are far enough away from it to be able to cloak.

  7. Adjust the range of your probes to be 16 AU.
  8. The range of 16 AU is not arbitrary. This range allows you to gauge when your probes are safely out of d-scan range of other ships.

    The default scanning range of combat probes when first launched in a session is 8 AU. This is just for the first probe, however. If you launch one probe and adjust its range to be 16 AU, the following probes will be launched at 16 AU.

    Alternatively, you can launch all five probes and adjust their ranges simultaneously. Shift-drag the edge of one of the probes' spheres outwards one increment, to make all the ranges 16 AU, or select all the probes in the scanning interface, right-click on a probe, and adjust the range that way.

    Note that probes' ranges during subsequent launches, when no probes are currently in space, are not determined by the range of the last probe launched, but that of the last probe recalled. If, when you have finished scanning, you reset your probes to all be set to a 16 AU range and then recall them, your probes will next be launched with a 16 AU range.

  9. Move your probe boxes out of the system.
  10. Shift-drag one of the probes to move them all out of the system. I move them directly upwards, out of habit, but downwards will also work. Move them by an arrow, not by a box, as you want them to move directly upwards, whereas moving the probes using a box can introduce some sideways movement.

    Ensure that the edge of the probes' spheres is outside of the system's ecliptic plane, including any planets with eccentric orbits. Remember, the aim is to keep your probes out of d-scan range of pilots, so we are looking to put them over 14 AU away from any ship.

    Sites will appear within 4 AU of planets, and wormholes generally within the same distance, although it is possible for them to appear with 6 AU of planets. Making sure that your probes are over 16 AU from the ecliptic plane should keep them hidden. To be safe, push them higher than necessary, rather than letting the spheres touch the ecliptic plane.

  11. Hit 'scan'.
  12. Your probes won't move with their boxes until you initiate a scan. With the boxes in place, hit 'scan' and move the probes out of the system.

    Note that we are moving the probes directly upwards initially, provoking an extra scanning stage, so that they do not warp laterally through the system. It is unlikely that any individual probe will be spotted during its quick warp time, but it is even less likely when we don't even give other pilots the chance to see our probes.

  13. Begin to arrange the probes for blanket coverage.
  14. Now that the probes are out of the system, and we are cloaked again, we can arrange them in to a standard pattern. With five probes, I have one in the centre, and four at the cardinal points.

    It doesn't matter at this stage to get the probes to cover the system. All we're looking for is to get a roughly equal separation between the probes. The full coverage will be achieved in the next couple of steps.

    Note that if you commonly use more probes for scanning, with a different configuration, you may need to alter it for the blanket scan. Primarily, do not position a probe beneath the cluster of probes, as this will put it back in to d-scan range of active ships and negate the purpose of remaining hidden. After the blanket scan is complete, the probes can be reconfigured to a more comfortable pattern if necessary.

  15. Increase the range of the probes to their maximum.
  16. For combat probes, the maximum range is 64 AU. Zoom your view out and shift-drag the edge of one probe's sphere to increase the range of all probes to their maximum.

  17. Adjust the separation of the probes.
  18. With the probes at their maximum 64 AU range, alt-drag one of the outer probes so that a comfortable separation is created. This should put the central probe at about half the nominal range of the outer probes.

    If a system is too big to be covered by this pattern, even at maximum range, you can consider splitting up your probes to cover distant planets, or you can perform multiple scans.

    If the system is small, don't feel the urge to compress the separation or range of the probes. Pushing our probes closer together can get shadow signatures, confusing the results, as can reducing the range. We actually get best results using maximum range and a standard separation.

  19. Position the probes to best cover the system.
  20. With the probes' ranges and separation done, we can position them to best cover the system. If the system is fairly symmetrical, then the central probe can be placed near the centre of the system. If the system is asymmetric, we'll need to gauge the best position.

    When looking to position probes, it can be simplest to look at those in the four cardinal points and see how the closest planet to one relates to the closest planet at another. As long as one planet isn't much farther away from any one probe than another, we should have good coverage.

  21. Scan.
  22. With everything in position, we can scan. The probes will move from their position directly above you to points across the system, and scan their allotted volume of space.

    Despite being over 16 AU above the system, the increased range of the probes lets them scan all around each planet, revealing anomalies, signatures, ships, and structures, whilst remaining out of range of any pilot pinging d-scan looking for probes.

  23. Interpret the results.
  24. Anomalies can be bookmarked, signatures can be noted, ships and structures can be spotted. If there are no ships, there is no obvious activity and the signatures can be sifted through for further wormholes. If there are no structures, there is no occupation.

    If there are ships, see if they are clustered or spread out. This can be difficult, based on the size of the ship, as the rough nature of the scan will have ambiguity in the results. But the noise from multiple ships will often cancel out to give an approximate position for all of them. This can let you know if the ships are likely to be in a tower, multiple towers—and roughly where those towers can be found—or outside of a tower and potentially vulnerable.

Once complete, our probes can remain in the blanket scanning configuration until needed for more focussed scanning or we leave the system. Subsequent blanket scans can be useful for determining changes, or movement, particularly in systems where d-scan doesn't cover the whole system.

Alternatively, if there are ships vulnerable in space, and they are not in a basic anomaly, our probes are launched, hidden, and available. We have already completed the initial steps of how to hunt in w-space using d-scan.

Sharing a connection

24th November 2012 – 3.40 pm

I'll see if I can stick to my natural habitat of w-space tonight. Popping a salvager in null-sec was okay, but it didn't seem to be much of a challenge for some reason. A second wormhole in the home system makes me optimistic that I can stay out of k-space, and a K162 from class 2 w-space sounds lovely indeed. I jump to C2a to see the system number pleasantly aligned, as J123450 is aesthetically agreeable. I wonder if these little happenstances will continue.

Three towers, two Orcas, one Navy Armageddon, and zero anomalies. A combination of my directional scanner and on-board ship scanner shows me the occupation, industrial command ships, battleship, and lack of easily found sites, but I suppose the progression is a coincidence. And I need to rely on general exploration to discover that none of the ships are piloted. A blanket scan of the system reveals five signatures, which I quickly whittle down to be rocks, a radar site, and two more wormholes, with the static exit to high-sec empire space accompanied by a K162 from class 4 w-space.

I jump through the high-sec exit to bookmark a route home, in case of the worst, and appear in a system in Domain only five hops to Amarr. That's pretty good, and if the C4 is empty maybe I should think about getting fuel for the tower. I return to w-space to reconnoitre C4a, finding two towers, an empty Bestower hauler and Orca, and decide that I don't care to scan for K162s. The hour is early, I have a good route to Amarr, so I should probably take the hint and run logistics. Naturally, my plan changes before it even begins.

I return to C3a to see a Megathron battleship now on d-scan, and get a conversation request. I find the Megathron piloted at one of the towers and accept the request, wondering what be-oranged pilot wants to talk to me. 'I doubt the Megathron will come out to play', says BayneNothos. Yeah, like I'm in the same C2 as you, I reply, because what are the odds? Like a million-to-one. But maybe a bit less if he is a pilot from the C4a corporation who just spotted me jumping back through their static wormhole.

'These dudes won't give you any trouble, as they lost two boats twelve hours ago. They'll be gun-shy', Bayne says, as two covert operations boats come on-line, the Helios and Anathema appearing at the same tower. I'd like to make them shier, but I could only do that if they leave the tower. And they kind of do, launching probes to scan, but catching a cov-ops is an exercise in frustration. I'm still one to try, though. But considering chasing a target through wormholes raises an interesting question of the etiquette of shooting fans you're currently chatting and sharing intelligence with, particularly as it's possible we'd gang up to bag a bigger boat.

I like to think I wouldn't shoot unless shot at, but I never can tell with me. As it turns out, only I'm foolish enough to chase the Anathema as I see it appear on the K162 to C4a. I drop out of warp to see the cov-ops still decloaked and sitting on the wormhole, perhaps wondering if he should bookmark the location, or location the location, but he finally decides and jumps. I follow behind, trying to give just enough time for him to get caught in a cluster of launching probes, but not enough for him to be clear and free to cloak. I don't quite manage it, as the wormhole is clear, as is d-scan of probes. There are two new Badgers in the system, though! 'In the tower', says my new friend. Aww.

The Anathema drops his cloak on the wormhole, and I follow suit. I engage the cov-ops, but only to force the ship back to C2a. I pursue again, but the Anathema gets clear of my attentions without too much fuss, leaving me little option but to cloak and return to loitering. The Helios in C2a is now swapped for a Proteus strategic cruiser, which Bayne notes is fitted purely for combat, but I think it's just sabre rattling and ignore it. It's not long before the Anathema warps out of the tower again, and this time stays cloaked. He doesn't have much choice in direction, though, and I warp to the wormhole to our system, if only because I certainly won't catch the ship on the high-sec wormhole.

Sure enough, the Anathema is here, and after a pause jumps to our home C4. I don't follow this time, as rather than scanning I expect him to check d-scan and return. And he does. As the wormhole flares a minute later I decloak, activate my sensor booster, and get ready for the Anathema to flee. Flee he does, a split-second before I get a positive lock, which is a bit of a shame, particularly as he was polarised, but not unexpected. I think I've done all I can in this system and head homewards to explore our neighbouring class 3 system, but not quite being the trusting sort I don't tell Bayne this. He's smart, he'll work it out.

C3a looks clear from the K162. A blanket scan reveals fourteen anomalies and signatures each, and exploring has a tower on a far planet that is empty of ships. I know from my last visit that there is a static exit to high-sec, and my notes remind me of my shameful podding of a pilot outside one of the towers. Nothing like that will happen with no capsuleers around today, so I scan and resolve the static exit, as well as another high-sec link, this one a K162. And is that weak signature an outbound connection? Yes, to class 4 w-space. How exciting!

I poke through C3a's static exit to appear in Domain, also five hops to Amarr. And although the K162 doesn't lead to Domain, the system in Sinq Laison is only three hops from Dodixie, another trade hub. I think the galaxy is telling me to get fuel. I quickly reconnoitre C4b through C3a, but the most exciting aspect is finding from my notes that I engaged a Manticore stealth bomber in a Buzzard cov-ops, with Fin bringing a Pilgrim recon ship to the fight to be met by a Rapier recon ship, Nighthawk command ship, and Onyx heavy interdictor. That sounds like it was fun, and somehow there were no losses. I'll leave the unoccupied system's seven anomalies and thirty-one signatures untouched for now, as it will give me something to do later if I get fuel now.

I go home, swap my scanning ship for an Orca, and decide that heading to Amarr through the empty C3 is probably safer than the active but probably unthreatening C2. Bayne tells me of the static exit to high-sec in C3a, should I want to sneak an Orca through, and I let him know about the K162 too with a wink. I'm still not convinced he won't try to stop me. But I make it to Amarr and back in the Orca without fuss, only wondering how 7,988 five cubic metre lego bricks fill a 40,000 cubic metre hold, and leaving 12 fuel blocks behind as a result. It's still a lot of fuel, and I top up the tower and leave almost a full tower's worth in storage. That'll keep us going for a while. Now for food. I'll be back later for more of the same.

Null-sec Noctis

23rd November 2012 – 5.11 pm

What's been happening, or what's happening now? Nothing. And nothing. But new signatures in the home w-space system could be exciting, particularly with an extra wormhole to go with our static connection, and a new ladar and magnetometric site each. The K162 comes from class 5 w-space and is stressed to its half-mass state, which is interesting by itself, as it suggests plenty of movement, and made more interesting by our static wormhole being healthy. I'm not quite sure why so much mass would be passed through the connection without either travelling further or stealing our Sleepers, unless the wormhole was being collapsed.

I lurk by the K162 for a minute but no ship comes through. I doubt the connection is being collapsed. I'll need to poke my nose in to the system to see what's happening, so that's what I do. Two towers are visible on my directional scanner in C5a, but no ships. Whatever was happening isn't now, or maybe wasn't from here in the first place. I launch probes to scan, revealing fourteen anomalies and six signatures, but find no K162s amongst the usual sites. I suppose the mystery of the half-mass K162 will remain that way. I return home, cross the system, and jump to C3a.

Another tower lacking ships appears on d-scan from our K162 in C3a, so I'll be scanning. Twelve anomalies and fifteen signatures will take a little while to sift through, but it's not too bad. I uncover and ignore rocks, gas, bookmark a tiny wormhole, and go back to ignoring radar and magnetometric sites. Being weak, the sole wormhole will be an exit to null-sec k-space, and as it's my only option I jump through to see where it leads. I appear in a system in the Fade region, along with ten other pilots.

My first instinct is to leave them be, and return to w-space to mind my own business. Even seeing dozens of wrecks of rat ships doesn't motivate me to see what's occurring, as my previous encounters have always involved the locals huddling in their towers until the unknown face leaves the system. The transparent local communication channel makes ambushes a bit harder to pull off. But I stay. A Noctis salvager appears to be sweeping through some of the wrecks, and rather than admit defeat without trying I can at least confirm that the locals are hiding.

A passive scan reveals a healthy nineteen anomalies in the system, but the Noctis is in none of them. I will need to hunt him, which means launching probes. The system is quite small, though, but thanks to a stargate I can get out of d-scan range. I warp to the stargate at range, make a safe spot just off-grid, and then wait for a Hurricane battlecruiser to pass by. I assume the Hurricane used the stargate, as he disappears from d-scan, leaving an empty result again. Now I launch probes, get them clear of the system, and warp back to the wormhole to look for the Noctis.

I got a fairly good idea of where the Noctis was in space before I launched probes, so returning to the wormhole lets me find him again quickly. I get d-scan down to a five degree beam, adjust the range gate to see him sitting a notch under 4 AU distant, and arrange my scanning probes around his position. I'm not quite expecting to catch the ship, or come out of this without a small blob of combat ships dropping on me, but I can try. If the locals are used to null-sec space and the local channel keeping them informed, maybe they aren't expecting my w-space hunting technique. But I dunno, as I don't live in null-sec.

The Noctis announces in the local channel that he's cleared the site. I don't know if he was meant to do that, but I know he's telling a little fib. I have him lined up on d-scan still and can see a few wrecks remaining, so call my probes in for a scan and get a solid 100% hit on my first attempt.

I recall the probes and get my cloaky Loki strategic cruiser in to warp, dropping just shy of the salvager as he tugs a few unlooted cans behind him. Without pause, I decloak, wait for the recalibration delay to end, and unload on the salvager.

My guns rake through the Noctis's shields and in to its armour, as my warp disruptor stops the ship from leaving. I am aware of the other pilots and ships in the system, some of which must be creating the wrecks, so I align my Loki back to the wormhole for a quick exit. But no one comes. I turn my ship back around, pointing towards the Noctis, so that I can loot it when it pops, which it inevitably does. But before I loot, I aim for the pod, and catch it, creating a new corpse for my collection.

I loot, shoot, and scoot. There doesn't look to be anything of interest in the wreck, as it is standard rat loot, and I grab what fits and destroy the rest without really caring. And I consider loitering in the system to gauge the reaction or maybe to scan for more wormholes, but I'm happy with the Noctis kill and don't really want to see if the locals can get organised. I return to w-space, get clear of the wormhole, and realise I left the corpse behind. Not only that, but I didn't bookmark the despawned anomaly, or the Noctis's location, and so I have no way of going back to it. That's fine, and I'm happy to leave a corpse floating in space.

C3a remains empty, and returning home and warping to the K162 sees it is now reaching the end of its life as well as being halved in mass. It must have been stressed many hours earlier. It doesn't stop me taking one last look in the C5 but, unsurprisingly, there is nothing happening. The Noctis kill was good, though, and I'm pleased with taking that and getting an early night. Maybe I'll watch a film.

Missing ships is understandable, missing a tower is careless

22nd November 2012 – 5.36 pm

I've made my decision. There's no point heading back through the wormhole that leads me to reds, not after I have taken a pot-shot at one of them and have concluded that they are waiting for me. That pretty much leaves me one direction to travel, although I suppose I have a choice of wormholes to choose. As the K162 from high-sec in this class 3 w-space system was opened from the outside, it's possible there are no more wormholes to be found in that high-sec system. The static exit to null-sec, however, may lead to a system with more to find. I'll go that way.

I exit w-space to appear in the Branch region, where one other capsuleer in the system is enough to deter me from ratting but not scanning. Having my probes return just the one signature, the K162 I'm sitting on, is enough to have me scuttling back to C3a, though. I suppose I have another option available to me with the high-sec connection, but I don't want to be dumb about it. Rather than looking for other wormholes in the exit system, and be visible to the reds that appear to be moving ships, I can hop one stargate across to look for opportunity. As the system is in a constellation arm leading to a dead end I can be sure which way the w-spacers are heading, and so I can go the other and be safely ignored.

Scanning the high-sec system one hop away from the exit has three signatures appear, and this time none of them will be the K162 I used to get here. And they are all wormholes. And not only are they all wormholes, they are all also outbound connections. Two lead to class 1 w-space, and one to class 2 w-space. I don't think I could have got a better result. Let's see if any of the systems gives me a juicy target. I poke in to a class 1 system first, knowing that it will likely terminate straight back to empire space, and see four drones on my directional scanner, but no ships, wrecks, or towers. A bit of exploring takes me to the only planet out of initial d-scan range, where a tower lacking ships lurks. That's good enough for me, and rather than potentially waste time scanning I head back to high-sec and across to the other C1.

Two towers and two haulers appear in the other class 1 w-space system, which has me scrabbling with d-scan to look for the Badger and Bestower. I find them, both at one of the towers, and both missing pilots. A third tower comes in to d-scan range when I warp to the tower with the haulers, but as no more ships appear on d-scan I am content to ignore it and consider this system inactive too. Now I can check the class 2 system, which I leave to last because that one will offer another w-space connection and will be worth taking time to scan for.

It's good that there is more w-space to find, because the Impairor and Ibis frigates visible on d-scan along with a tower in C2a don't hold much hope for activity in themselves. I don't hold much hope in my notes being particularly relevant either, seeing as my last visit was over two years ago. But seeing that I have the static connections listed as leading to class 1 w-space and high-sec perks me up, and, to my surprise, the tower is in the same place as it was the last time I was here. The ships at the tower are unpiloted, of course, and scanning the single anomaly and seven signatures only throws up the two expected wormholes, so I continue through the constellation to C1c.

D-scan is clear from the K162 in C1c, but a blanket scan reveals two ships to go with the two anomalies and four signatures. The ships appear to be huddled together on a distant planet, far from a signature or anomaly, and even though that suggests they are in a tower together they may still be piloted and pondering activity. But, no, the Loki strategic cruiser and Cheetah covert operations boat are floating empty inside a tower's force field, leaving me with low-class w-space systems with probably just empire connections to resolve. Still, I'm here with probes launched, it would be churlish not to take a look around.

Hello, that Mackinaw is new on d-scan, and in range of the tower. And an Iteron hauler appears too, which is also a nice sight for it being new, even if the Mackinaw has gone. That just means I need to find it, which I was going to do anyway. The Iteron drops from d-scan too, but my probes are still in the blanket-scanning configuration, and I can see one ship in the system. Maybe he's from C2a and using this system's static exit to low-sec as being more convenient than their own high-sec exit. It sounds unlikely, but possible. Warping to the wormhole finds neither ship, but the Iteron is on d-scan somewhere. Is he at a customs office?

I think the Iteron is indeed collecting planet goo, which seems like odd behaviour for a tourist, but I won't question it if I can catch him. D-scan has the Iteron loitering near one planet, and warping there sees the ship just long enough to peg his next destination. I follow behind, confident that I shall get there with time to spare, only to arrive with no Iteron in sight. Surely my ship is not that much faster in warp than a hauler, and indeed it isn't. Either the pilot lined up his flight lazily or he likes to bounce off moons. The Iteron warps in from another direction, which whilst still brings him in to range makes him far enough away to be inconvenient. Never the less, I line him up.

I decloak and activate my micro warp drive, wanting to get close as soon as possible, and activate my offensive systems when the recalibration delay ends. The Iteron's warp drives are disrupted, his shields are being peppered with projectiles, and a cloaky Loki is burning towards him. But the Iteron doesn't care, as he just turns and runs. The damned ship has warp core stabilisers fitted, and his esoteric path put him too far for me to give him a gentle, ramming-speed nudge. I have little option but to cloak and accept his escape, until I get back to the tower and see the Iteron on d-scan but not inside the force field.

Maybe if he's not local and collecting planet goo he tries to hide when not active. But I have combat probes available, and I bring them in to scan his position. One hasty scan is corrected for a better second scan, and I warp to his position, decloaked and weapons-hot, only to see the ship inside the force field of a second tower. How did I manage to miss that? Something should have registered when updating d-scan from the first tower and seeing defences and hangars in range but not reporting a distance. Or, if not that, the second force field was a dead giveaway. Okay, Penny, missing a stabbed Iteron was unfortunate, but not scouting an obvious tower was careless. Time to go home.

Back to C2a, across to high-sec, and a stargate hop to the exit system. A single red pilot is in the system, in a pod according to d-scan, and is joined by two more red pilots. Neither come through the wormhole from C3a, as I'm sitting on it and see no flare. I jump in to w-space before the pod arrives, so that I can pretend I haven't been seen, and watch as the pod follows behind and warps away. Now to see what the other two pilots are bringing in, and maybe catch them on the next wormhole along their route home, where w-space meets w-space and there's no easy exit. But the other two pilots are also in their pods, and I don't think I stand a chance of catching them without a bubble.

I am ready to ignore the reds and go home to get some sleep, seeing a Drake battlecruiser, Manticore stealth bomber, and Proteus strategic cruiser all appear on d-scan for long enough to cross C3a and exit to high-sec. I would either be vulnerable to those ships or not be able to catch them. But a Retriever's appearance makes me pause, turn my Loki around, and loiter on the K162 to C4a, in the hopes that another harmless industrial ship will come this way. A Devoter heavy interdictor doesn't count, and I already ignored an Impel transport ship at the start of the evening because of its increased warp core strength.

A Merlin frigate jumping with the Impel looks tempting enough, though, but that could be because I'm tired. I decloak, and watch as the frigate warps clear of the wormhole before my recalibration delay dissipates. Good job. As I am visible and the Impel is still in front of me I take a shot at him instead, but the transport merely warps away at its leisure, ignoring my piddly single point of warp disruption.

I would say that's it for the evening, but curiosity gets the better of me again, as pods come back the other way. I can't possibly catch one warping away from a wormhole, but I know my cannons can pop a pod in one volley, so can I lock one in time as it lands on a wormhole? No, not even when I'm primed and ready, with my sensor booster active. Okay, then. It really is time to head home and get some sleep.

Tracking transports

21st November 2012 – 5.28 pm

I'm looking for some action. There's none at home, so I move my search next door, to the neighbouring class 3 w-space system, which also looks empty. My directional scanner reports clear from the K162, and the only planet out of range doesn't hold a tower when I warp across to check. My notes from two months ago tell a similar tale, and point me to an unsurprising static exit to null-sec k-space. The system is visited regularly, it seems, as there are only two anomalies and twelve signatures, and knowing what I'm looking for has me resolve the weak static exit early. Then it's a radar site, rocks, gas, and, perhaps bizarrely, two K162s to finish.

The first K162 comes from class 4 w-space, and I turn my ship to warp to the second just as an Impairor frigate lands on the wormhole and jumps to C4a. I can't stop myself by the time I notice, and am in warp as the wormhole flares, but for now I just hope he didn't see my scanning probes. The other K162 comes from high-sec, so is probably the connection the Impairor used, and the frigate was piloted by a red, which is interesting. Before I investigate the movement further I exit to high-sec, appearing once more in the Kador region, to bookmark the wormhole for safety reasons.

There are no reds in the local channel, and my atlas shows the system is half-way down a constellation arm that leads to a dead end, and so is probably not well-travelled. I think it's time to check C4a for activity. Returning to w-space has me swap the black hole of C3a for the black hole of C4a, and a clear wormhole. There is a tower visible on d-scan but no ships, and as locating the tower finds it to be owned by a neutral corporation there must be another K162 to find. I launch probes and scan, getting through the single anomaly and four signatures quickly, resolving a ladar and magnetometric site each, and a K162 from class 5 w-space.

As I recall my probes a Tengu appears on d-scan. I hold my position on the wormhole and, sure enough, the strategic cruiser warps to my position. Hello, Black Widow Yeva, I remember you. I interrupted a gas-harvesting operation, podding a hauler, before you chased me off. I wonder what you're up to today. I let the Tengu disappear through the wormhole to C5a, give her a minute to get clear, and follow. And tonight's exploration motif is black holes, as I swap the C4 black hole for a C5 one. But the system looks clear and, more curiously, is not in my notes.

Taking a look around shows that the system is unoccupied and so not the home of the reds, and I have more scanning to do. I launch probes, reveal three anomalies and ten signatures with a blanket scan, and start sifting. A likely looking signature resolves to be a wormhole, but I doubt the reds are taking a diversion through the K162 from null-sec and that I have another wormhole to find. And find it I do, but just as a pair of transport ships jump through the connection. The Impel and Prowler are probably heading my way, so I bookmark the wormhole from the scan results, recall my probes, and stay loitering on the wormhole to C4a.

The transports hit the next link in the constellation, the Impel landing first and followed shortly after by the appearance of the decloaking Prowler. Neither ship is a good target for me, as the Impel's increased warp strength will flummox my basic warp disruptor, and the Prowler's ability to cloak will evade even a target lock. But if I catch the Prowler I will hold it, unlike the Impel, so that's my target. The Impel jumps first and, after a curious delay, is followed by the Prowler. I follow behind.

Naturally, the Prowler cloaks immediately and baffles my targeting systems. I try to surge towards him to interfere with the cloak but don't manage to reveal him again. But I have another opportunity to catch the transport, assuming he'll head to the next wormhole in the chain to high-sec. I turn my ship towards the connection to C3a and warp there, cloaking mid-flight so that it is not obvious when I land. I keep d-scan updated, as I want to see if the Prowler jumps, which should be obvious. I also want to see if the cloaky Tengu comes in behind me.

Nothing appears on d-scan, so the Prowler has moved on and reinforcements haven't entered the system. I wait on the wormhole for a minute, at which point the transport finally decides to move on. He jumps, I pursue. I get my ship ready on the C3-side of the wormhole and, to my surprise, get a positive target lock on the Prowler, at which point my offensive systems activate. The transport's warp drives are disrupted and my guns blaze projectile ammunition in to its shields. The Prowler turns lazily, affected by the black hole, and returns to the wormhole, taking a moment before jumping back to C4a. I don't know what that looks like to anyone else, but to me that is awfully suspicious behaviour. I don't follow the Prowler back through the wormhole.

The transport evaded me without delay in C4a, and that he couldn't do it in this system is odd. If he was close enough to the wormhole so he couldn't cloak he wouldn't have needed to turn to jump. Otherwise, he would have just cloaked and gone on his way to high-sec. I locked on to him far too easily, particularly as I again accidentally targeted the wormhole first. This smells like bait, and I remain aware both of the cloaky Tengu I saw earlier and our previous encounter where their combat pilots were efficient and organised. It may be nothing, but I would rather not polarise my ship at the same time as piloting my way in to an obvious counter-ambush. I simply move from the wormhole, cloak, and wonder what to do next.

Miner on a plate

20th November 2012 – 5.16 pm

Nothing but static. My zen approach to scanning. I resolve the wormhole and jump to our neighbouring class 3 w-space system. A Retriever mining barge pings my directional scanner, as do four Warrior II drones, but nothing else. I would say my evening is off to a lucky start, and I suppose it is, but opening the system map to see swathes of space between the meagre planets scattered around could put a different person in a more pessimistic state of mind. Why couldn't the Retriever be mining on that distant planet, almost 100 AU away, far out of d-scan range, so that I would have no chance of being spotted immediately on entering the system? Because he wants to be found, I say. I move from the wormhole, cloak, and watch d-scan for any reaction.

The Retriever keeps mining, as far as I can tell. He's not warping away, at least. I do, creating a safe spot out of range of planets in case I need it, and stumble in to a tower that's not the same from around six months ago. Along with the tower I spy more ships, and although the two haulers are not piloted, and so unlikely to be called on to collect cans of ore, a Daredevil and Heron have capsuleers aboard. Both are frigates, but with vastly different functions. The Daredevil is fast and potentially threatening, in tandem with a pointier ship, the Heron a scouting boat, and I imagine those were his core scanning probes I saw as I warped half-way across the system.

Now I warp the rest of the way across the system, looking for further occupation or activity and, finding none, launching my own scanning probes in preparation for finding the Retriever. But warping back to the K162 has the barge gone from space, and although I am able to find him again I didn't really want it to be at the tower. But he may not be finished, and just dropping off a load of ore, so, as I have probes launched, I perform a blanket scan of the system to see what's out there. Five anomalies and nine signatures. Of course, what I should be doing is scanning the gravimetric site far out of d-scan range of the tower whilst I know the Retriever is safely inside the force field.

I'm bouncing my Loki strategic cruiser backwards and forwards trying to make up my mind, and by the time I get my brain in gear and my Loki loitering outside the tower's force field the Retriever has gone. If I miss out on a kill I'll only have myself to blame. But warping back to the wormhole has no sign of the Retriever still. Maybe he's gone, but even if he is I'll want to scan the signatures out here, so call my probes in and resolve what turn out to be three gravimetric sites. Rocks, rocks, rocks. It's good that I didn't stop at the first site and assume I had found where the Retriever was mining. Even better, the Retriever returns and enters the third site I resolved.

After scanning the three sites I threw my probes back out of the system as a precaution, and it's probably good that I did. A switch to d-scan sees the Retriever, but did he see my probes? I interrogate each site using d-scan to determine where the barge has gone, and warp in to see his reaction. And his reaction is to set his lasers to 'mine' on a chunk of arkonor. It looks like I'm a lucky predator tonight. I get my ship in to position, warping close enough to smell the exhaust fumes, and start a cloaked approach.

D-scan is clear. I decloak and activate my micro warp drive, doing my best to dent the Retriever as my sensors recalibrate from being cloaked. Time's up, my targeting systems are hot, and so are my weapons. I lock on to the barge, disrupt its warp drive, and start shooting. This time it's no trap, and I strip armour from the Retriever as it strips rocks from roids, the mining barge having no chance of escaping my clutches. It explodes, and although I get close to snaring the pod I can only watch as it warps clear of my autocannons. I loot and shoot the wreck, leaving no trace of my attack, and withdraw to a safe distance.

I doubt anyone is returning to claim a lack of wreck and an absence of jet-can, so rather than lurking in the gravimetric site, far out of d-scan range of the locals, I warp across the system so that I can monitor the tower directly. The pod pilot swaps ships, but disappears. The Daredevil moves, apparently just to prove he's not asleep. And, as I decide to scan, realising that the locals really ought not to be surprised by my presence, a Blackbird cruiser appears, followed by a Hurricane battlecruiser, and the two new ships duel outside of, but near to, the tower's force field. Otherwise, my ambush goes unnoticed.

I find more rocks. All rocks, in fact, apart from the static exit to low-sec. The locals appear to be good at clearing other sites, but it seems their miners keep getting killed before getting rid of the rocks. No matter, I doubt I'll have more excitement in my favour in this system, so I head out to low-sec to look for more wormholes. I don't find any. A single extra signature in the system in the arse-end of Kador only resolves to be a drone site. The appearance of a couple of the C3ers in the system intrigues me for a moment, until I realise they not coming but going.

The Daredevil and Blackbird jump past me, heading straight to a stargate, and leave me with little to do. I don't care to engage either, as a buzzing frigate and ECM cruiser sound frustrating to fight. I could collapse our wormhole and start again, or hop through a stargate or two to scan further systems. But I've popped a miner and explored a couple of systems, and an early night would be a satisfying end to the evening in space. I turn my ship around and head home.

Scanning my way to skill books

19th November 2012 – 5.45 pm

Me and my glorious leader come on-line at the same time, adding further fuel to the idea that we are the same person. I'm no longer sure myself, but if I am I should probably start updating Our EVE again. Whoever we are, we split up to scan the home system, resolving a K162 from class 5 w-space, a K162 from class 4 w-space that's reaching the end of its life, and our static connection to class 3 w-space. Fin finds the C5 K162, I find our static wormhole, so off we go.

My directional scanner is clear from our K162 in C3a, and exploring finds an old tower remaining from twenty months ago, and a new tower to accompany the old one. No one is home, though, so I launch probes and scan. The seven anomalies are all our favoured type, suggesting the locals don't appreciate their appeal—the optimal profit, lack of warp scrambling, and homogeneity of the first two waves of Sleepers—and eleven signatures resolve to one radar site, rocks and gas, and three wormholes.

The static exit to high-sec empire space is joined by a K162 from high-sec, and a K162 from class 2 w-space—'so another high-sec connection', says Fin. It seems to be the case that class 2 w-space systems with a static wormhole to class 3 w-space also hold an exit to high-sec, so we should be spoilt for access today. Maybe I can pick up some skill books as a result. I exit through C3a's static exit first, appearing in a system in the Kador region that's five hops to an academy, and four to Amarr, which is pretty good. Let me check the other exit. Hello, Kador! Two hops from the first exit, six to an academy, and three to Amarr.

At least if one wormhole to high-sec from C3a gets some capsuleer attention there is the possibility of returning through the other without much of a diversion. But, for now, I have more w-space to explore, so ignore empire space and head to C2a. A bare tower and three Bouncer drones wait for me in the class 2 system, and no anomalies are returned on a passive scan. It doesn't offer much hope for finding activity, but a second d-scan almost does, as a Hound stealth bomber appears from nowhere. There's no mystery as to where the stealth bomber is, as locating the tower locates the Hound, as well as the drones, which are scattered outside the force field.

I don't know why I'm sitting to watch the Hound, as there are no hangars for the pilot to swap ships, and I doubt the stealth bomber will get up to much. But it gives me a minute to look around, at which point I notice all of the defences being incapacitated, which makes sense of the lack of hangars. I would guess that the tower was sieged, or ran out of fuel, and was ransacked for all it was worth. Maybe the locals will get their operation back up and running, but I doubt much will happen as I watch. I launch probes and scan instead.

I detect the RNA of a wormhole amongst the eleven signatures, and two more without natty signature identifiers, resolving to be two K162s from more class 2 w-space systems, one of which being EOL, and the static connection to high-sec. I poke through the static wormhole to appear far from Kador this time, and in Metropolis far from anywhere. But I don't care for high-sec at the moment, not with another w-space system to explore, so I return to C2a and continue in to C2c, where d-scan once more shows me nothing.

Exploring C2c finds a tower and a pod, the pod becoming an Anathema covert operations boat on a second scan, and warping from the tower by the time I locate the right moon. The cov-ops launches probes and, presumably, starts to scan. I'll join him. Two anomalies and five signatures hold a couple of wormholes almost on top of each other, resolving to be an EOL K162 from null-sec and a K162 from class 4 w-space, and a third wormhole elsewhere that's the static exit to low-sec. I keep pushing through w-space, jumping through to C4a, knowing that waiting for the cov-ops would probably be a futile endeavour, but I really would like to find some other ships.

The class 4 system isn't going to give me the ships I seek, not with an empty local tower and nothing else obvious in the system. I'm giving up for the night and will collect some skill books instead. I head back through the constellation, exit w-space through C3a's static connection, and hop across to an academy. I waste a good hundred million ISK of the corporation's ISK on skill books that I'll probably never make use of but look good on a capsuleer's CV, and realise I could pilot a Rorqual capital industrial ship if I only bought the book. I don't, though. If I could pilot one, someone may actually want me to.

Heading back through high-sec to C3a is uneventful, but jumping through the K162 sees a Wolf, and not on d-scan but my overview. Now I find someone, when I have expensive skill books in my hold and am just heading home to sleep. Thankfully, not only does the wormhole connect to high-sec, and we have a second convenient high-sec route to the same system, but the assault ship is buzzing seventy kilometres from the wormhole I'm holding my session change cloak on. We could probably try to catch the Wolf if we wanted, but the likelihood is that he'd warp away before we could get close, so I move, cloak, and ignore him as I head home to hit the sack.

Limited to looting low-sec sites

18th November 2012 – 3.29 pm

Time to roam the constellation! Of course, living in a system with a static connection to class 3 w-space doesn't always offer much of a constellation to roam, as it can terminate to k-space immediately. Much like today, in fact. I even collapsed one wormhole to give me a second chance, again leaving me with a direct route to low-sec empire space and no options that didn't involve stargates. But maybe w-space has woken up, either with pilots being active in our neighbouring class 3 system or scouts from elsewhere opening new connections.

A quick check of the home system sees no new wormholes appeared, and jumping to C3a has no pilots in the tower or out. I launch probes and scan, almost gurgling with glee at the sight of a new signature, until I realise that there are the same number as before and one of them is just a fuzzy double-dot under my probes. Stupid probes. On top of that, the exit to low-sec is now at the end of its life, and although that will probably give me enough time to take a look around I consider it an ill omen. Instead, I return home to collapse our wormhole a second time today.

I swear I'm getting the hang of collapsing wormholes. It just takes a little practice, and I suppose a lack of fear in getting isolated. I push our static connection to half-mass with a couple of jumps, and crush it with a couple more, comfortably floating in the home system on its inevitable demise. Time to again start again, still with no unexpected signatures at home, despite the ten minutes since my last check. I resolve the replacement static wormhole and jump to what I hope is a system more active than dead.

Two towers appear on my directional scanner, as do two ships. I doubt the curious pairing of Devoter heavy interdictor and Impairor frigate are piloted, though. And there are also enough canisters and bubbles on d-scan to suggest the towers are fortified against scouts. That doesn't bother me, and I consult my notes to see if they will help. My visit from six months ago points me to one tower, and some trivial work with d-scan finds the other. The new tower looks to anticipate visitors coming from the direction of the star, judging by bubble and can placement, whereas the old tower is cool about stalkers and lacks any kind of decloaking trap.

As expected, neither visible ship is piloted, so I sift through the eleven anomalies and five signatures to get gas, gas, rocks, and a static exit to low-sec. The fifth signature is, of course, our own K162. It's a dreary result for a dreary day, but I press on and optimistically head to low-sec to see what I will find, and at least the U210 is stable and healthy. Then again, it also leads to Aridia. Isid? Yes, id is Aridia, I double-checked. Ha ha ha!

The system of Isid doesn't appear to be well-travelled, holding thirteen anomalies and four extra signatures, and my atlas shows perhaps why, with the system being one hop from a dead end. But the signatures don't hold more w-space potential, without a wormhole between them. Instead, I resolve one radar site, two magnetometric sites, and some dumb drones. Well, if space is giving me a sign, I shan't ignore it. I bookmark the sites, head home, and swap to a Drake battlecruiser to go ratting.

I can only assume I'm being given an opportunity to make use of the hacking skill I just recently trained to level five, to go with my maximised archaeology and salvaging skills. I throw a codebreaker, analyser, and salvager on to the Drake, compromising its shields with a nonchalance that suggests I don't think it will be the slightest bit challenged anyway, and head back to low-sec to pop some rats and steal their loot.

I poke the radar site first, which throws a few frigates and cruisers at me for the sake of defending not even a handful of decryptors. Next are the magnetometric sites, the first of which involves only salvaging, resulting in salvaging loot. I shouldn't be surprised by this, but am a little surprised that I resolve to clear the site completely, despite it feeling a waste of my time. The second magnetometric site is the charmingly named Blood Raider Mass Grave which, judging by the Tech II blueprint copy I pluck from the first artefact, is where industrialists come to die. I feel quite at ease in my natural environment.

The Medium Auxillary Nano Pump II BPC is a nice find, and makes me not care that the second container is empty. Or the third. But I'm getting peevish again by the time I open the fourth empty can. Still, the last container gives me another BPC, this time for Medium Anti-Explosive Pump II rigs, which seems like a nice find. I hope I can convert it to ISK at some point. And, with that, I'm finished. I don't care to crash our wormhole again, and C3a remains quiet, so I dump my loot at the tower, find a corner of the home system to hide in, and go off-line.

Start by scanning and scouting

17th November 2012 – 3.50 pm

My spider sense is tingling, making me think that someone has already been in the home system today. If that's the case they've hidden their tracks well, as all our anomalies remain and there is no sign of a wormhole expect for our static connection. I'll have to accept that I'm not much of a spider and get on with a quiet, reconnoitring poke around the constellation.

Jumping in to the neighbouring class 3 w-space system plonks me next to a K162 from where my directional scanner shows me nothing. Two planets sit out of range, which could hold activity, or at least occupation, but before I take a look I launch probes and perform a blanket scan of the system. My probes return no anomalies and a mere four signatures, which makes this a pretty clean system indeed, and the lack of ships means there is no activity.

Checking my notes shows this to be my seventh visit to the system. The previous time was about eight months ago, where Fin and I attempted a bombing run at an escorted Noctis salvager, which warped clear before our bombs even hit. I vaguely remember that, and it looks like our daring assault scared the locals out of w-space, as the tower I have listed is no longer present, and hasn't been replaced. It's a little rum that the system has so few sites and yet no occupation, but it's possible a raiding party has passed through recently.

Resolving the signatures gives me gas, rocks, and a static exit to low-sec. And, as if to confirm my suspicion of an earlier fleet, the wormhole is at the end of its life from being opened long before my arrival, ending the constellation at its earliest opportunity, along with my exploration. I shall continue, though, just not through this system. I return home, throw massive ships through our static connection, taking care to bring them back again, and smoothly collapse the wormhole.

Starting again still has no intruders in the home system, and once again jumping to the neighbouring class 3 system has nothing to see on d-scan. This time, three planets sit out of range, and one of them holds a tower. It's a different tower to the one from fourteen months ago, but I won't hold that against it, and I scan the two anomalies and eleven signatures to resolve mostly gas, a couple of radar sites, and again just the static exit to low-sec.

No, that's ten signatures, and I counted eleven. I trust my counting this time and, sitting near the exit to low-sec, re-launch my probes and take a second look. Indeed, I failed to cover a distant planet with my scanning, where another pocket of gas waits to be ignored. I could resolve and bookmark it, but it has been probably years since I last caught a capsuleer in an already bookmarked site.

I recall my probes, satisfied that I've found all the signatures in C3a, and jump to low-sec. The system in Heimatar doesn't look particularly interesting, and scanning finds just the one extra signature, which turns out to be merely a radar site. Another simple constellation ends almost as soon as it begins. Okay, scouting is complete! It's time for a sammich. I'll come back later.

Automatic for the capsuleer

16th November 2012 – 5.34 pm

On the EVE Online forums, Ellente Fervens makes a request that crops up occasionally: the directional scanner should have an option to update automatically, shifting a tedious and repetitive task away from the player to the computer. Conceptually, I agree with this idea. This is sci-fi, and we are piloting complex ships no doubt stuffed with computing power. It should be possible to give the ship computer a set of commands such as, 'keep d-scan updated, and if an unknown ship or scanning probes are detected then initiate an emergency warp back to the tower'.

Practically, however, I do not agree with such a change. EVE Online is not just a sci-fi environment, it is also and primarily a game. The interest and entertainment comes from player skill, and the progression of that skill. If you take away the skill from the game, by placing control in the hands of a computer, you are taking away the reason to play the game. This, I would argue, is one reason why AFK-[anything] is considered wrong, or at least unsporting. You play a game to be involved, and removing that involvement is seen to be detrimental to enjoyment.

As an example, the act of scanning is obviously algorithmic. Arrange probes in a set pattern, scan, pick a signature, centre the probe pattern on that signature, reduce the range of probes, scan. Repeat until signature is 100% or probe range is minimised, bookmark and/or ignore the signature, and reset; repeat until all signatures are bookmarked or ignored. In reality, there should be no pilot interaction for scanning. Launch your probes, let the computer do everything, and analyse the results at your leisure. But the lack of interaction gives no reason to be at the controls, to be playing the game.

Similar arguments could be made for other aspects of New Eden life, such as planetary interaction. I don't know myself, but I suspect there is an algorithmic method for finding sources of planet goo, extracting it, and shipping it to space. It would save a lot of fiddling around if you could just tell your computer to do it for you. And it would probably do a better job, too. Manufacturing also has algorithmic properties, when considering what blueprints to buy and research, and when to install lots of separate jobs to get a resultant ship off the production line. This isn't unusual.

Part of the reason there are so many processes that can be reduced to automation is that EVE Online is essentially a simulation, already running on computers, and already reduced to algorithms. This is clearly demonstrated by acknowledging that mission-running can be automated. The rats are always the same, and will always react the same way, because that's how they've been designed. Modules, planetary equipment, and probes will never deteriorate, so each subsequent process will be exactly the same as the previous one. Anything that has been programmed can be automated.

That's not to say scanning shouldn't be done automatically. But if it is, there must be some reason for players to want to scan manually. Generally, a common theme in gaming is to reward player interaction over player non-interaction. In this case, it would be that automated scanning would take at least twice as long as manual scanning. Note how this still makes no sense from a realism viewpoint, as a computer would be able to arrange probes much more quickly than a human. But if the processes were realistic then player interaction would be detrimental to progress, which is antithetical to the idea of gameplay. And there is a firm precedent, as autopilot takes you more slowly to your destination than does manual navigation.

If you consider the parts of the game that cannot be automated, that are not algorithmic, you will see a common pattern: player involvement. PvP is the defining aspect of EVE Online, and with good reason. Once you get other players, other people, involved, predictability is thrown out of the window. There may be aspects of PvP combat that can feel repetitive, or could be done more quickly by a computer, but there is always variation, always uncertainty, and that cannot be easily accounted for by an algorithm. The heart of EVE Online shows that player interaction and skill is rewarded over mechanically reproducing certain actions.

Now to bring the discussion back to d-scan updating automatically. Yes, conceptually it should be possible. Computers can do this easily. And there seems little reason to object to it. After all, the player still needs to analyse the results, and ephemeral ships or probes can still be missed if a capsuleer takes a drink or is otherwise distracted. But this isn't futuristic spaceship life, this is a game. Player interaction needs to be rewarded over player non-interaction. Automated d-scanning, if it happens, would need to update slowly, and significantly slowly than is possible manually.

A thirty-second automatic update of d-scan may be acceptable to consider. Any less and d-scan would come close to being the w-space version of a populated local channel, negating the base concept behind w-space. You could argue that this period is too long, and a pilot would be better off updating d-scan manually. Well, that is pretty much my point. An automated d-scan updating every thirty seconds is better than nothing, but updating it manually is better still. There needs to be risk, but specifically risk that can be mitigated by players being alert to those risks. There is limited automation in games for a reason, even if those reasons deny realism. The game needs to be player driven, lest we end up with computer-vs-computer gameplay whilst us meatbags with our slow-firing neurons sit back and watch what is essentially alternative TV.