Holding the hump in Front Rolling Splatfest [2163p, 7(2)-1, Custom Splatteshot Jr]

7th February 2018 – 7.00 pm

There aren't many battles to be had with the back-rollers. Even so, I want my super sea snails, and that means becoming Queen of Toilet Rolls, so the battles are contested. Despite the known importance of inking your base, an earlier battle in Sturgeon Shipyard shows that getting to the central turf and holding has significant importance with certain maps, and Humpback Pump Track is one of those.

As such, I rush to the central mound, and do my best to hold that turf from any and all inklings. I have the good fortune that no inkling on the other team subscribes to the same philosophy, leaving me to ink a protective barrier to start with. The main problem is that threats can come from any direction, moreso here than in the Shipyard.

The Splat Charger could cause problems, but that's why I have Robo Chickens and, to some extent, the Ink Storm. I use them to at least force the charger to move, and the little automatons definitely do the trick.

The mound gets a bit inky at times, but threats are chased or splatted away, and some good mobility keeps me safe. I keep inking the central mound and use Robo Chickens to help around the edges. The main threats are actually the Ink Storms, and I manage to keep out of them until the final few seconds, where I literally can't tell which way it is moving until I am trapped.

A solid battle for me. Now I just need to meet the dastardly back-rollers whilst in this form.

Warming up in Front Rolling Splatfest [2014p, 8-1, Sploosh-o-matic]

7th February 2018 – 7.00 am

My first battle in this Splatfest will be against the despicable back-rollers. I will soon find out just how unusual this is, which really is only to be expected. Just how many lunatics can there be who keep the toilet roll hanging the wrong way around?

But it is my first battle, so I just want to warm up. I'm trying the Sploosh-o-matic, as it has worked in Turf War for me before, but mostly because what I want to try is super-jumping and activating my Splashdown, like a competent inkling. Of course, competent inklings don't regularly forget how to close the map.

My first attempt at the super-jump/Splashdown goes hilariously poorly, as I can't work out how to activate it. It seems that just changing the situation slightly throws off my muscle memory. Still, the squidmate I jump to is competent, and doesn't need my Splashdown to help. That's good.

I get back to inking, retreating to a safe corner to look for the super-jump again. Now that I've got the kinks out of the system, it works well, splatting an inkling on landing. That's followed, after some more inking, with a nice convergence of inklings to my position, and I get three in good time, and the fourth is nearby.

The fourth splat eludes me, even with a Splashdown, until I push too aggressively for it and get splatted too. It was probably worth it. I make a meal of the Sploosh-o-matic that intrudes in to our part of the Station, but otherwise I spend the last minute of the battle keeping the turf inked.

A good start, no doubt because my power level is the default. We even lose our Clash Blaster early, and it makes little difference. If only it continued that way.

Finding the right opportunity in Rainmaker [13(5)-7, Sploosh-o-matic]

6th February 2018 – 7.00 pm

In a display of excellent timing and positioning, I drop right in to the Roller's flick. You can't teach that. I'm not quite sure how the Roller splatted me next time, though, but I at least I also somehow survived the Rainmaker's shield exploding. But that Roller catches me again, and again I don't quite know how. I should probably try to steer clear of her.

A squidmate sneaks the lead as I try to ink my own path to the podium on the other side of the Track. I hope that comes in useful, because it doesn't look like it at the moment. I think I need to find a groove soon, as my little dance with the Aerospray clearly shows I'm struggling a bit.

I get a bit of mojo with some attacking defence, bagging a couple of splats that, with a bit more skill, could have been four. But two is good, and gives me some confidence. More defence needed, which my squidmates provide nicely, giving us an attacking opportunity that I'm around for this time. I manage to blend in to the background as well, but that doesn't help when the orange team has a lot of inkpower going in to the Rainmaker's shield.

Another concerted push gets the Rainmaker in a squidmate's tentacles with most of the orange team out of commission, and it looks like he's going to squid it all the way to the podium. And he kinda does, but is splatted just before the dunk is complete. That's bad luck, but he's pretty much won us the battle.

I ride the ink rail to the other side, being the obvious way for the orange team to clear the Rainmaker from their podium, which works out very well. It's fun to see the brush super-jump directly in to the Rainmaker's expanding shield too. And with the Rainmaker's shield burst, opportunity is knocking again.

It takes a few blasts to ensure the way forward is free, and although the ink coming from doesn't stop, it's more of an annoyance than a threat. By this time my squidmates have come back to add some support, and I'm given a clear path to the podium to dunk the Rainmaker. Woomy!

Sneaking some splats in Rainmaker [17(3)-4, Sploosh-o-matic]

6th February 2018 – 7.00 am

That green inkling's move is easy to anticipate, opening up the centre of the Pump Track for me. I have to avoid a Curling Bomb Rush, though, but lurking on the lower track opens opportunity to splat the charger, which is pretty satisfying. I then make a similar mistake to that first green inkling, and following my Curling Bomb, whose ink is the only trail I can move through. Not even Ninja Squid will foil an attacker.

My squidmates have made good progress by the time I return, and I hope it continues, to give me time to sneak around the other way. It does, and I do, catching one inkling unawares and inking a path that is immediately inked-over by the green team. There's a pretty inky battle, and none of us come out of it unsplatted, but I really don't think that squidbagging is necessary or deserved.

I wait and watch for opportunity next, and find it when flanking the green team. The Rapid Blaster is splatted back first, but I don't care to squidbag, although that makes me lose track of the Splat Charger. I lose track of everyone, in fact, but catch up to splat the Rainmaker, and not much more.

There's green where it shouldn't be, which I take upon myself to tidy up, but cautiously, in case of intruders. No one there, and there won't be a free squidding to our podium, not on my watch. And this time I don't lose track of the Rainmaker, and drop down to stop an attempt to sneak around us. And that move ends up giving us a good run to the other side of the Track, although it's stopped earlier than I'd like.

Okay, I definitely lose track of the Rainmaker this time, moving to where I think it is going, but they took the ink rail short-cut, and steal the lead. I blame myself, in part. At least I don't quite manage to get myself splatted by squidbutting the Rainmaker's shield. There is a threat below, which is tough to get rid of, but this is why we have Splashdown.

We start moving the Rainmaker again, and I try to provide some forward support, but despite getting a good number of splats, we just can't get past the green team's defence. Good battle, everyone. Back down to A+ with me.

Different ways to splat in Rainmaker [15(1)-8, Sploosh-o-matic]

5th February 2018 – 7.00 pm

I remember that sponge incident from the previous battle, but the Curling Bomb trail gives me a good head-start. My solution is to jink around the sponge, but maybe I could have told my squidmate that. Also, maybe I don't need that head-start, if I can't dodge out of the way of the Rainmaker's shield exploding.

There's some trouble brewing near our staging area with a Dynamo Roller, but my confidence to push forwards increases as my Splashdown charges. Even better, I can ignore the Roller and ink ahead of a squidmate with the Rainmaker. My Splashdown works well, and a second splat helps us take the lead, but I can go no further for now.

Ninja Squid comes in handy to get close and personal with the Rainmaker, and although I don't get the splat I may squid unnoticed under the Dynamo Roller. Rather than try to reach a ledge at head height with my Sploosh-o-matic, a tough proposition, I squid around the back to get on the same level. The Roller's gone by then, but I find him, and return to not dodging the Rainmaker's shield.

Super-jumping is often an impetuous choice, but the landing looks safe this time. It's a nice surprise to find Tenta Missiles landing with me. I make sure we're safe from the flanks, then move up and, when no one seems to be threatening, help burst the Rainmaker free. Just in time, I would say, as it looks like a teal inkling was right on my tail.

Being a ninja works to my benefit again, but better still, my Curling Bomb gets a splat! That saves me from walking in to the Dynamo Roller's overhead flick too. Not that it matters in the end, but it is a cool splat. I splat the Dynamo Roller again, foolishly not being very ninja-like behind a Curling Bomb, but I get over-confident in rushing the Rainmaker afterwards.

A decoy Curling Bomb gets a completely unexpected splat. I suppose it ricocheted off the wall behind an inkling moving around the jutting wall, taking him by surprise. I take it in my stride, like I meant to do that, and keep inking a path. I get close to the podium, but I left the Rainmaker a bit far behind me to be support.

I am happy to splat the launcher of Tenta Missiles, less happy to squid right in to a Rainmaker blast, but the teal team aren't moving forwards too quickly, so we're doing okay. I even have time to squid right around the back and accidentally find a teal squid waiting for an opportunity. It comes to me first, though.

With half-a-minute to go, we push again, and I get a Curling Bomb splat, Splashdown splat, and a Sploosh-o-matic splat. That's quite impressive, if I say so myself. I even ink right up to the podium, and my squidmate gets pretty close behind me. Our lead is extended further, and the teal team has no time left to answer. Good battle, everyone. Woomy!

Edging closer in Rainmaker [20(4)-10, Sploosh-o-matic]

5th February 2018 – 7.00 am

Who put that sponge there? Never mind. It doesn't stop us from grabbing the Rainmaker first, and making a good push in to opposition territory. My Ninja Squid Tee and Sploosh-o-matic work really well, but it works better when not squidding directly towards a Luna Blaster aiming at the Rainmaker behind you.

I get immediate revenge on the Luna Blaster, and punish an inkling for daring to use an Inkjet against us. The Brolly is a tricky blighter, but enough pressure splats them too. But I get quite inky doing all this, particularly under an Ink Storm, and it doesn't take much Octobrushing to splat me too.

Another brush with the Luna Blaster could have gone better, and it's disappointing to see the Rainmaker squid past, but I do my bit in holding it up on my return. If only I could aim better, even at point blank range, I could be dangerous. Now, inking Brollies in the back, that's more my style. Or luring inklings towards me when I have a Splashdown ready. It's just a shame the Luna Blaster is more canny than to fall for that.

Super-jumping back lands me amidst an aggressive defensive position against the teal team, and a bit of flanking helps consolidate our position. As the Rainmaker looks to be collected, I push forwards to ink a path, Splashdown at the ready. If only I hadn't hit that ledge on the take-off. But my squidmates edge us closer to the podium.

I super-jump back to provide support, and we ink our way right to the podium. But the brief window of opportunity cannot be taken, and the Rainmaker starts coming back our way. I provide a nice distraction for a squidmate to splat the Octobrush, which I'm obviously happy to do, and return with vigour to help keep the Rainmaker moving.

Again, a bit of aggressive pushing inks a path pretty much to the podium, and a successful Splashdown gets most of the teal team out of the way, and it looks like we may get to dunk it this time. But, no, a quick return splats the Rainmaker just shy of the podium, and although we rush to burst the shield again, we just run out of time. Still, it was a fantastic battle, and victory is ours! Woomy!

Awkward celebration in Splat Zones [7(1)-2, Hero Charger Replica]

4th February 2018 – 7.00 pm

My previous tactic of sticking to the left worked well for my survival, if not my inking of the opposition Splat Zone, so I'm trying it again. I move up a bit, to get more coverage, and so that I'm not crowding our Goo Tuber. Early inking goes well, well enough to encourage me to push further forwards, and we capture the Splat Zones to take the lead.

The green team come back, of course, and neatly split their manoeuvres and attentions along multiple angles. Whilst it looks like I'm keeping things inked, I get caught easily from behind. There's a decent tussle for the Splat Zones, where we match the green ink fairly easily, but having to dodge Tenta Missiles provides a good opportunity for the green team, and they capture the Splat Zones.

My first Sting Ray works out well, with two splats and an assist, and that lets us recapture the Splat Zones neatly. The green team don't split their attention like before, and with the battle focussing on their Splat Zone, it's easy to keep ours purple and not worry about being hit with a buffer.

My second Sting Ray doesn't hit as much as the first, but it looks to delay one squid's appearance in the Splat Zones. But when she does turn up, it's with panache, Splashing Down then one-blast splatting me. But the battle looks won, even as I return to base, both Splat Zones looking mostly purple. I even have time for a victory dance!

But I forget how to jump, and open the map, then remember how to jump but forget how to close the map. Then remember both how to jump and close the map, and the green team neutralise one of the Splat Zones. I feel a bit silly, to be honest. I rush back to the Splat Zones, hoping that we don't get stuck with a buffer after my failed victory jig, and thankfully manage to help out to actually secure us the victory. Woomy!

Sticking to the side in S-rank Splat Zones [10(2)-1, Hero Charger Replica]

4th February 2018 – 7.00 am

I've not practiced with a charger too much so far, although clearly I've managed to defeat DJ Octavio, as I'm pulling out the Hero Charger Replica for some Splat Zones. I don't rate my chances at hitting anything, but maybe I can lay down some ink.

It seems best to find a decent spot where I can ink at least one of the Splat Zones and see if I can keep it green-ish, and our right flank looks the best option. It's quite open, to let me see threats coming, and the opportunities to get right behind me are limited.

The first splat is pretty sweet, even though I missed a couple of shots at him already, and stopping the Curling Bomb Rush is good for me and the team. Some close review shows that the super-jumper survived a fully charged shot thanks to some ink armour, and my first Sting Ray is a bit aimless, unfortunately. And through all of this, the purple Splat Zone stays quite purple.

I feel a bit sorry for my squidmate landing in the Robo Chicken. I don't think I could have let it further away either. I get some revenge with a second Sting Ray, though. But still the Splat Zones are mostly purple. I help to keep ours green, which stops the battle from ending quickly, and my position helps my squidmates return to the fray fairly quickly, but it doesn't look like we're getting many points out of this.

Robo Chickens force me out of my comfort zone, which is what they are meant to do, but I just shift my focus a bit to the right for a while. I get a couple more splats, and we score one more point, until the .96 Gal moves orthogonally to me, flummoxing my already weak aiming, and splats me off the perch. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

I re-ink my perch and try to flush out any hiding inklings, which I think there are none, before getting a neat double-splat with the Sting Ray. This is a pretty good position to fire from. If only we could ink the Splat Zones more effectively. But at least we stop the purple team from claiming the knockout victory, but only just.

I don't quite manage to splat away the .96 Gal pestering me, but I get his attention enough for him to focus elsewhere. Not that it really matters. The battle is almost over, and our attempts to capture the Splat Zones aren't getting any more effective. But that's okay. I'm just happy to have been useful with my charger.

Boxed-in in Turf War [738p, 5(1)-2, Hero Charger Replica]

3rd February 2018 – 7.00 pm

I've got myself the Hero Charger Replica, and I'd like to use it. It's probably best to practice a bit in Turf War before heading in to Ranked battles, though, so here I am. Port Mackerel is a good option for a charger too. I don't understand the inklings who think chargers aren't good at inking either, as I can cover long paths easily, and reach up to where many weapons can't.

Despite an early flurry of Specials by us, the pink team get close and push us backwards, well in to our own half of the Port. I don't suppose two chargers on our team facing three shooters and a blaster helps, but it shouldn't really hinder us either. I do a good job of trying to keep a path open, by rolling a decent Splat Bomb in to the path of one intruder, and escaping and splatting another. Ending up in some Toxic Mist and facing two other inklings is another problem.

I look to hit the flank to make a path past the pink team, which worked surprisingly often in the old Port Mackerel, but I don't know how often I tried it with a charger. It would help if all the inklings would press higher up, or if my shots hit a target, but as one inkling holds his position near the ledge there isn't much I can do.

More disappointingly, I am ambushed from behind, giving me little option but to get splatted. I initially wonder where my support is, to let an inkling get all the way behind me, but I remember that it is now possible to hop on to that ledge from the crates nearby, which is probably a positive change. Just not for me here.

Checking the map shows that we really don't have many options available. Most of the Port is pink, and the pink team are holding the turf pretty aggressively. Even so, it's all good practice with the Hero Charger Replica.

Splatting steve-o in Turf War [1372p, 6(1)-1, Custom Splattershot Jr]

3rd February 2018 – 7.00 am

I saw steve-o online and thought I'd join their battles for a bit. It turns out it was his daughter, but that's cool. I was never gunning for him specifically, and enjoyed the battles where we were on the same team as well. But I am attracted to chargers, and when you get close, you have to make the most of it.

The Custom Splattershot Jr works as well in Turf War as it can in Ranked battles, particularly with the Ink Storm. I charge up and launch my first Ink Storm, before trying to sneak around the side looking for the E-litre 4K. It works until a Tenta Missile hits me squarely in the squid.

There's plenty of turf still to ink near the base, which is worth doing, and my Robo Chickens will help me force some inklings away from choke points. That central part of the Maria is looking pretty... green? Yellow? Not our colour, anyway. I push up to help make a difference, my squidmates right behind me.

My manoeuvring lets me catch up with steve-o's E-litre 4K, and I'm not letting it get away. But I'm not going to gloat or press unsportingly high, a splat is just part of battling. And it's good that I turn around, as some inklings have got behind us and started making a mess of the ship.

I hear the E-litre 4K is back, and head back to support a helping Splattershot Jr. A couple of times, as it happens. But the mess in the middle won't turn pink itself, and the Turf War needs to be won.

It's a shame I didn't think to ink more turf earlier, though, as the other greenyellow inklings had secured the turf all the way to our base. I just couldn't ink enough of it to turn things around. Good battle, everyone!